Engineer files HR report after her male boss expects her to handle admin tasks mid-presentation because: ‘Come on, it's not that hard. Women are naturally better at this stuff anyway’

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Etai Eshet • Editor
Nov 17, 2025 10:00 AM EST

Our story begins in the wild frontier of corporate personal dynamics, where progress allegedly roams free but somehow people still trip over stenography practices from 1957. 

Somewhere in a Phoenix conference room, a project engineer dares commit the unthinkable sin of not taking notes while presenting structural analysis, a double-booking of competence and defiance that apparently short-circuits the male managerial brain.

The boss's logic carries the vintage scent of cigars and unearned confidence: women take notes because they're "naturally better at it." A theory last updated around the time typewriters were considered high-tech. Yet here it is, alive and well, disguised as "team spirit." In this ecosystem, multitasking isn't a skill,  it's a gender expectation wrapped in office casual. The irony is rich enough to be considered under professional development.

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  • AITJ for refusing to take notes in meetings after my boss said it's "women's work"

    Woman leading a meeting while a group of male colleagues listen around a conference table
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I (27F) work as a project engineer at a construction firm in Phoenix. Been here about eight months.
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  • I'm the only woman on my immediate team of six people. About two months ago my boss started asking me to take notes during our client meetings.
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  • Not just our internal team meetings, but the big ones with contractors and clients where we discuss budgets and timelines and technical specs.
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  • At first I didn't think much of it. I'd take notes, send them out after, whatever.
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  • But then I noticed I was the only one ever asked to do this. We rotate who leads presentations, who does site visits, who handles vendor calls.
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  • Woman leading a meeting while a group of male coworkers listen with mixed interest, highlighting uneven engagement in a workplace presentation
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • But notes are always me. Last week I had to present a fairly complex structural analysis during a client meeting.
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  • I'd been working on it for three weeks. Right before the meeting my boss pulled me aside and said "Hey can you take notes today, thanks" and walked away before I could respond.
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  • I said I was presenting and couldn't take notes at the same time. He said "Just do your best, you're good at multitasking." I told him someone else should take notes since I'm actively presenting for like 40 minutes of this meeting.
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  • He said "Come on, it's not that hard. Women are naturally better at this stuff anyway, you probably don't even have to think about it." I just stared at him.
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  • He said "What? My wife takes notes at her job all the time, she doesn't mind." I said I'm not taking notes during a meeting where I'm presenting technical analysis.
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  • Woman writing on a clipboard while presenting to a group of male colleagues who look distracted and disengaged during a workplace meeting
    via Lipik Stock Media

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He got annoyed and said I was making a big deal out of nothing and assigned it to Kyle, one of the other engineers.
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  • The meeting happened. I presented my analysis. Kyle took notes but they were terrible, he missed like half the action items and got some of the technical details wrong.
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  • After the meeting my boss came to my desk and said "See, this is why I ask you.
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  • Kyle can't take notes for shit. Just do it next time." I said no. If note-taking is part of someone's job responsibilities it should be assigned formally and rotate like everything else.
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  • Or we hire an admin. But I'm not doing it just because I'm a woman and he thinks it comes naturally.
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  • He said I was being difficult and that it's a team player thing. I said the team has six people and somehow I'm the only team player who takes notes.
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  • I went to HR. Filed a formal complaint about the "women are naturally better at this" comment.
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  • HR said they'd look into it. Now my boss is barely speaking to me. Two of my coworkers said I should have just taken the notes and not made it a whole thing.
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  • One guy said "It's just notes, why are you being so sensitive?" But another coworker, the oldest guy on the team, pulled me aside and said he's glad I said something because he's watched women get stuck with admin work his whole career and it's bullshit.
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  • My boss is still assigning me note- taking duty and I keep declining. He's started making comments in meetings like "Well we'd have better notes if SOMEONE would help out" while looking at me.
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  • AITJ for refusing and going to HR over this? TL;DR: Boss kept assigning me note- taking duty because "women are naturally better at it," even during meetings where I'm presenting.
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  • I refused and filed an HR complaint, now coworkers think I'm being difficult.
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  • LoudStatistician9077 NTA. Your boss literally said women are naturally better at taking notes and that's why he assigns it to you. That's textbook gender discrimination. You were hired as a project engineer, not a secretary. Taking notes during a meeting where you're actively presenting technical analysis is absurd. You can't do both effectively. The fact that Kyle's notes were terrible just proves that note- taking is actual work that requires attention and skill. It's not some magical thing wo
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  • Cute-Profession9983 How about, "We'd have better notes if SOMEONE hired an admin instead of relying on outdated stereotypes"
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  • Zestyclose-Height-36 ntj. you boss is awful and so is your HR department if they let him do that. Make sure your notes are worse than the weaponized incompetence Kyle's are.
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  • OverRice2524 Report him again for creating a hostile work environment. Can you transfer within the company? Start looking for a new job.
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  • CivMom Female engineer (from construction and development). Stand firm. He's just butt hurt. And document everything. But in the meantime look for a new job. You deserve a better work environment.
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  • Jane AustenismyJam NTJ. Make sure you document EVERY single transgression related to this and any other discrimination in a running handwritten document and typed document that time stamps (google docs, for example). That way you are prepared for any possible outcomes from your rightful refusal to do what others on the team are not asked to do. Start the document with a verbatim recall of the initial conversation where he said it is woman's job and work forward with every little detail you can t
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  • ocean_lei NTJ. As a new young woman engineer, I had to learn from my woman boss, who said she never learned how to type because...huh I didnt notice when a deliverable was due and they sent support staff home (because time and a half) and had Me stay and correct, print and bind, it was only me, the one woman engineer trying to be a team player. Quickly learned to insist that it be support staff or shared between all junior engineers. Happened again at a new job when the WOMAN who was supervisor
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  • NTJ Okyounotit Your boss is trying to railroad you into admin work because of his sexist views. Good job on standing up for yourself and your career goals.
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  • Vivid Fiddlesticks NTJ, with a ton of exclamation points afterwards!! I'm a woman and a programmer and I have experienced almost this EXACT same scenario. Only woman in a team full of men and kept getting assigned note-taking duties during meetings and then asked me to take over ordering office supplies and coffee - basically tried to turn me into an office assistant vs. my actual role as a programmer and analyst. Only difference was that my boss had the grace to be embarrassed when I called him
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  • SportySue60 NTA - your boss is awful and a terrible misogynist! It's not ok that you are the only onbe being asked and singled out!
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  • The real marvel isn’t that he said it, but that the comment floated by with only mild shock. It’s the quiet persistence of these micro-stereotypes that turns workplaces into nostalgic exhibits. Women present data, design systems, and still somehow get volunteered for clerical reenactments their male peers apparently flunk.

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management terrible coworkers workplace discussion employment issues boss workplace-stories hr manager bosses work coworkers colleague PTO managers supervisor workplace Horrible Bosses work-life balance
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